a boyfriend is not what you need!

beautiful message from KESTY TIPSY! an educator and writer! read and enjoy…

Source: http://www.nigeriansinamerica.com

Every relationship has its aim, goals and aspirations, but most people, despite the fact that they know what they want from the onset, keep falling into the danger of heartbreak and rejection, thereby destroying their future and wasting time with someone they know won’t ordinarily fulfill those dreams.

 

We go into relationships with the hope of getting married to that person we claim to love but in the long run we choose to waste our time even when we know that those dreams won’t be fulfilled.

 

A woman in her twenties is ripe for marriage from all indications, but it never ceases to amaze me that despite this fact you still find such women talk of boyfriends instead of husbands. They pray to have boyfriends and because they fail to set out a clear goal for themselves, they feel a boyfriend is just what they need.

 

When you come across a guy, if the goal you set out for yourself is that of finding a husband, the moment you sense the guy is coming with a boyfriend attitude there’s no point trying to see what he’s up to. It simply shows both of you are not on the same page at that point. The best thing to do is to let him go. Failure to do so will amount to you wasting your time with someone that isn’t ready for what you want and leaving you hurt in the end.

 

When women go into such union knowing fully well that they are not on the same page, they later turn to complain that men are all the same forgetting that what brought them that hurt is because they never defined what they wanted in that relationship.

 

Does it make sense to you if a guy wants to get married and you are not ready deep down or the goal you are setting is not towards that direction don’t you think he’s just wasting his time with you.

 

I know many of you will ask how you would know he’s serious for marriage but the truth is this; if you have a clear agenda before going into any relationship the signs will always give you the answer. No woman in her thirties with her right senses will pray for a boyfriend, but the truth is this, this is what they should have done when they were much younger but because they fail to realize that they’ve gotten to that marriage able age they stick to having a boyfriend rather than seeking for a husband thereby wasting precious time on baseless relationships.

 

If you’re a woman in your twenties do away with boyfriends, set a goal for yourself, seek a husband and when a guy comes around and he’s coming with a boyfriend attitude let him go so you won’t have to come blame your stupidity on love saying words like all “men are the same”

 

All men are the same to you because the reason you need a man in your life are the same and this is because you keep failing to understand what you need at your age.

 

Boyfriend and girlfriend issues should be left to teenagers. The moment you fail to realize that you’ve outgrown that age the more problem you keep having in finding a husband since your reasoning is still like that of a child.

 

Don’t waste your time hanging out with kids when you shouldn’t be doing so.

“Finding a husband is not as difficult as you think but knowing the right point when you should start seeking for one is”.

 

Most women have made this mistake which has led them to that stage where age is no longer on their side and all they can pray for is just any man to propose. Desperation then sets in and immediately they come across any man they hold on to him tight with the thought of if they allow him slip away they might never find another one just because age is no longer friendly to them. This is what they should have done back then when they had that golden opportunity but they never realized it and that is what has brought them to this mercy state.

 

Always spell it out, don’t waste your time chasing boyfriends when you should be chasing husbands. If you’re in your twenties boyfriend is not what you need. Don’t allow an unserious person destroy your future and don’t also destroy your beautiful life just because you fail to realize what you need. The moment you realize what you need in life the closer you are to your freedom. Setting wrong agenda will lead you into danger and hurt.

 

Love is beautiful and all men are not the same. All you need is realize what you want, set your goal and work towards achieving them.

 

 

 

a boyfriend is not what you need

By Kesta Tipsy. Kesta Tipsy Tipsy is an independent researcher on sex and relationship issues, an educator and a writer. it’s a beautiful piece y’all men and women should read through. enjoy!

 

Every relationship has its aim, goals and aspirations, but most people, despite the fact that they know what they want from the onset, keep falling into the danger of heartbreak and rejection, thereby destroying their future and wasting time with someone they know won’t ordinarily fulfill those dreams. We go into relationships with the hope of getting married to that person we claim to love but in the long run we choose to waste our time even when we know that those dreams won’t be fulfilled. A woman in her twenties is ripe for marriage from all indications, but it never ceases to amaze me that despite this fact you still find such women talk of boyfriends instead of husbands. They pray to have boyfriends and because they fail to set out a clear goal for themselves, they feel a boyfriend is just what they need. When you come across a guy, if the goal you set out for yourself is that of finding a husband, the moment you sense the guy is coming with a boyfriend attitude there’s no point trying to see what he’s up to. It simply shows both of you are not on the same page at that point. The best thing to do is to let him go. Failure to do so will amount to you wasting your time with someone that isn’t ready for what you want and leaving you hurt in the end. When women go into such union knowing fully well that they are not on the same page, they later turn to complain that men are all the same forgetting that what brought them that hurt is because they never defined what they wanted in that relationship. Does it make sense to you if a guy wants to get married and you are not ready deep down or the goal you are setting is not towards that direction don’t you think he’s just wasting his time with you. I know many of you will ask how you would know he’s serious for marriage but the truth is this; if you have a clear agenda before going into any relationship the signs will always give you the answer. No woman in her thirties with her right senses will pray for a boyfriend, but the truth is this, this is what they should have done when they were much younger but because they fail to realize that they’ve gotten to that marriage able age they stick to having a boyfriend rather than seeking for a husband thereby wasting precious time on baseless relationships. If you’re a woman in your twenties do away with boyfriends, set a goal for yourself, seek a husband and when a guy comes around and he’s coming with a boyfriend attitude let him go so you won’t have to come blame your stupidity on love saying words like all “men are the same” All men are the same to you because the reason you need a man in your life are the same and this is because you keep failing to understand what you need at your age. Boyfriend and girlfriend issues should be left to teenagers. The moment you fail to realize that you’ve outgrown that age the more problem you keep having in finding a husband since your reasoning is still like that of a child. Don’t waste your time hanging out with kids when you shouldn’t be doing so. “Finding a husband is not as difficult as you think but knowing the right point when you should start seeking for one is”. Most women have made this mistake which has led them to that stage where age is no longer on their side and all they can pray for is just any man to propose. Desperation then sets in and immediately they come across any man they hold on to him tight with the thought of if they allow him slip away they might never find another one just because age is no longer friendly to them. This is what they should have done back then when they had that golden opportunity but they never realized it and that is what has brought them to this mercy state.  Always spell it out, don’t waste your time chasing boyfriends when you should be chasing husbands. If you’re in your twenties boyfriend is not what you need. Don’t allow an unserious person destroy your future and don’t also destroy your beautiful life just because you fail to realize what you need. The moment you realize what you need in life the closer you are to your freedom. Setting wrong agenda will lead you into danger and hurt. Love is beautiful and all men are not the same. All you need is realize what you want, set your goal and work towards achieving them. Categories Life Abroad Nigeria Matters Relationships & Gender Interviews & Profiles Africa & World Introspective Arts & Reviews Position Papers Business & Economy Personal Development Science & Technology Religion & Philosophy Health & Environment Travel & Leisure Lifestyle & Fashion Sports Education Miscellaneous Copyright 2014 Nigerians In America. All rights reserved.

IRRESISTIBLE GENERATION

The hour has come for the people of irresistible Influence to take their place and begin to manifest and fulfil the mandate of knowing Christ and Making Him known!!

FOURSQUARE STUDENTS' FELLOWSHIP UNILAG

A generation of an IRRESISTIBLE Influence? Can we have such a generation of people? Oh! YES!!! A group of people whose mien, actions and decisions are indeed influential to others around them. Not just influential but irresistible.

A set of personalities whose spirit-filled lives become the mirror which others in the world jostle to utilise and mark as yardstick. Lives that will be change agents. Indeed propellers of innovative ideas and progress. Persons that will stand tall above corruption, average-minded thought process, pessimists and believers in mediocrity.

In this world of perverseness, sorcery, nudity, inflamed passion for media buzz and social networking, the youthful generation is indeed being caught by the bug. Many a lives are pining away. A generation budding is that which spend eternity on social networks just uploading pictures of ‘achievements’ they term ‘landmarks’. Asides being emergency photo men, they vigorously keep tabs on the ephemeral things…

View original post 555 more words

THE MARK OF A CHRISTIAN (THE IRRESISTIBLE)

Christians of today have God physically present on their lips but He’s emotionally absent in our minds the power seat where he shd be! There has been a meeting but no encounter.The mark of a christian!! What ‘s a mark…what’s d significance of a mark…
There is so much to being a christian than practising the christian “religion”. A mark is an identity, a symbol of representation. For instance, the mark of a pregnant woman is her protruded stomach. The mark of a muslim sister is the “hijab” The mark of a fish is its water habitat. The mark of a tailor is the presence of niddle n thread or a tape-rule. The mark of a doctor is obviously the stethoscope!
All these marks are like identification numbers and symbols of representations that is known or attached to a thing,an event or someone.
A mark could also refer to the influence or impact an event or a person has made…. It’s often said that “we ought to live our life in a way that when we are gone our marks will be felt by those we left behind”
It has come to my notice that a lot of ‘christians’ have missed it from the very beginning. Some practise it like its a career to earn a living… We say we are worshiping a living God but we worship him using the standards set by our human dead institutions (wisdom)
Some take being a christain as a trial and error thing or as a first aid agency. They just run into it when an emergency pops up in their life and then run outta it when the emergency has been addressed
Some others see christianity as a boost for their social status. They use it as an oppurtunity to belong to high cacus societies in “church” where they can dribble money and control funds in the name of God. Smh
Some others are just christians because everyone around is a christian…
Let’s look at the word “christian” itself
Its a 2syllable word divided into Christ-ian.
Now any word that the suffix ‘ian’ is attached to implies ” a product of something” “a source or where something or someone comes from” “belonging to something” and “relating to something”. For instance anything nigerian comes from nigeria, belongs to nigeria,relates to nigeria,or has nigeria as a source. Therefore from the word “christian” we can say that we belong to christ, we originate from christ,our source is Christ…..we sum this all up to say our identity is Christ….
2corinthians4:4 tells us dat our source and very essence Chrsit Jesus!is d IMAGE OF GOD. Automatically what are we?? The image of God… Automatically we, our very selves are the mark of christianity….
James3:9 makes us understand that WE ,men, were made in this image of God!!(CHRIST)
Any wonder y the bible says! All things were made thru HIM,in HIm, and by Him.
We’ve been called into Him,into a Maverllous Light! Christ is a maverllous light! Dats y we’ve been declared THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD!! THE MARK OF CHRISTIANITY!
Again and again! The mark of a christian is CHRIST JESUS. We’ve been called 2 show our mark! CHRIST JESUS…
how do u know ure in a foursquare church environment….u’ll see d image representation of the 4 fold messages of God…spreading d entire essence of christ…His kingship,His spirit and manifestation, His ministry of healing and restoration, and His saving power.
It all boils down to Christ!!!!
Our identity is christ…christians are there4 replicas of christ here on earth….showcasing his way of life.
A Christian who has received Christ can say with assurance, “I know that I have eternal life. I’m sure. I have received Christ. There are certain evidences in my life that indicate that I’ve passed from death unto life. Whether I was conscious of the moment or unconscious of it, I’ve passed from death unto life and I know that I’m ready to meet God. I know in whom I have believed.”
This mark is irresistible!!! If uve ever noticed in Nigeria.Every nigerian especially d ones dat has been living in places lyk ikotun,igando,onipannu,yaba,mushin, and the likes of dem.The moment we see a spark of light! Whether the light stays or not…. We all shout
UP NEPA!! In our different styles…
What I am saying in essence is dat light has become an irresistible mark of identifying Nigerians!! U can’t just help but shout it! Even if you wanna b tush a little u’ll say “there’s light, thank God” or my friend will swaggaliciously say ” OMG! There’s light I need to charge my BB”
Its just irresistible…
In otherwords, the mark of a christian is irresistible (Christ Jesus) in the sense that when a christian is present, Christ is present…and when Christ is present bible says there’s fullness of joy. There’s peace,comfort, there are answers and solutions!!! so lyk Nigerians do with Nepa light… When a christian is present people begin to realise wrongs, people begin 2 see solutions, people begin 2 hear d good news, people begin 2 experience freedom and peace of mind just bcos christians are present there.
No wonder, principalities and powers tremble @His voice, His presence. A man of God shared a testimony…he got an house help who unknowingly was possessed by demons & d very night she stepped into that house she couldn’t sleep…she became so restless! Y was she so restless?….there was a mark!!an irresistible identity..dwelling in that location!! Funny enough this man of God had neigbhours who were gr8 men of God… As a matter of fact there were 4 gr8 true christian families living in dat compound!
Take note of this 1 christian =millions of marks pointing out the power of Christ! Now there were 4 christians here… How can a demon survive!
He said she had to go sleep under their car all through the night…the next morning she wanted to leave and he told her ” you are not going until you see fire!”
Another thing about this mark is dat its iRresistibility power cannot be overcomed! It’s an identity that showcases the irresistible power in a CHRIST-ian… It reps unlimited overflow!
So much to say about the mark of a christian.
Paul said HENCEFORTH! Let no man or spirit( money,economic depression,peer pressure,sexual tempatation, institutions of this world, boyfriends of rebellion, girlfriends of abomination, commonly accepted wrongs, amongst others!) trouble me!!! BECAUSE I BEAR/CARRY/SHOWCASE (CHRISTJESUS!)the marks of christ Jesus.
As christians we let go of our own self, that christ jesus will take HIS very own place @ d very centre of lives…in control of d power seat of our life..which is OUR MIND! N den it becomes the mind of christ!
Do u think the world “christian” was given by God or by the apostles!! Its because of this MARK!!! It was recorded that they were first called christians in Antioch. Why? Because they’ve seen that this people originate from the CHRIST dat we saw, they are just talking,manifesting,eating, praying,living, dressing,relating with people, just like CHRIST.
Tell me why they shoudnt…right from the very beginning they were made in HIS lIKENESS!!!
This one last thing!!! Bible says, the foundation of the lord standeth sure! This is the seal…the LORD(CHRIST) knows those who are HIS! Brethren!! He knows those who bear his mark oh… Remember at the start of this I said religion carries a mark…christianity carries a mark
As a poet once said christ is actually available to abolish religion so that relationship of worship can be projected instead or human rules of worship…
Be a CHRIST-ian, BE CHRIST…. Let the word of God dwell in u richly… Let the mark of christ be projected… Everybody can easily identify that I am MRS FOLAKEMI’s daughter because we have same voice! Same look! Especially the head and the nose lol…that’s d mark…
You can’t do this alone…thats y HE has poured out his spirit upon ALL flesh, young n old, thin or fat,big or small,educated or uneducated, ‘ALL’ against all boundaries…. Receive this IRRESISTIBLE SPIRIT of POWER n GRACE. GIVE IT what I call AUDIENCE!!! Let it speak and act….
…………..THE MARK of a CHRIST-ian is CHRIST himself…LET THE BEAUTY OF CHRIST JESUS be seen in US…..amen

Abisayo oluwanifemi

the CAREER CHRISTIAN

There is a huge difference between a CAREER christian and a CALLED christian!!
A Career christian lives by bread alone matt4:4a.. He serves to earn a living for himself!!D major reason he’s involved is for his benefits
A CALLED christian serves 2 worship 4 an eternal purpose,fulfilling d mandate–>2 know Him n 2 make Him known!!
A Called Christian understands dat wivout d GOD-factor…all his “SOMETHING” sums up to “NOTHING”
But when HE is involved!!!! Everything dat seems lyk nothing sums up 2 gr8things Why?!! Bcos he inserts an eternal purpose..unending purpose
There’s a limit to ur adequacy when u operate as career christian…u operate outside grace…n when d going gets tough…ur toughness(ur self-strength) earns u nothing
But on the other hand a called christian…operates in grace so amazing coupled wiv an eternal purpose…. so “when the going gets tough…the GRACED get going”
Cause your adequacy is in CHRIST 2cor3:4-7
A career christian takes Christ like a business partner…if dere’s no readily recognised n available profit d business partner seeks to dissolve d partnership. In otherwords a CAREER christian looks @ the hand of God “focuses more on receiving from Him,than listening to Him.
But a Called Christian takes Christ as a FRIEND! Works hand in hand 2 fufill d mandate… Gets to know CHRIST,looks @ His face n den His hands.
Think about it. Phil4:8
Lord pls help….expose me to myself….come n take ur place…I have confidence in u dat u’ll lead me thru dis eternal purpose…I ask n I bliv in u dat u’ll tk me out of being a career christian 2 being a called christain dat I am!!!
I am God-made…1Godmopol…allwivGOD!!
Thank you Jesus for this rhema…keep me conscious of it every single second of my life…take me deeper,get me lost in u… Wanna be a rogue defined by UUUUU! As u fill me up wiv the grace to always wanna do it better…Thank you lord! Amen